Bleeding from my depths
by angyl-devyl
Summary: COMPLETE A fic about loosing love. contains John, Remy, and others. its dark and has attempted suicide, implied torture and rape. r & R or flame and maim, but read the bloody thing..
1. Blood, tears and messages

I don't own anything, not even a cat, pity I do like cats! I'm posting this under pain of death from ShinigamiPhoenix who rules. Read her stuff she is a wicked writer and deserves every gold star she is given! About the fic, umm.... I wrote it, I don't own john, (pity) Remy (bigger pity) or Sebastian (hey id be able to kill him that's a good thing) I do however own Chal. This was supposed to be a one shot but I have a feeling that it might get longer, depending on the reviews I get. Oh yeah, this is a weird fic too; there isn't really anything in it. It's mainly direct though, on john's part and a little extra spicy Cajun chicken to make it more fun! (oh yeah i found the edit function)

Bleeding from my depths... BY Angyl-devyl

She's out there somewhere,

Looking out onto this big empty city.

Full of fast cars, fast women and dirty money.

Within all of it she's the most pure thing id ever come close to.

And through my stupidity I've lost it all.

Her trust

Her love,

I lost her.

She's dead to me now;

she won't return my calls,

I've left countless messages, she wont call me back.

I should have listened,

Instead I don't even know if she'll ever find her way back

I'm not going to give up on her this time.

_"Hey there, you've reached Chals office, I'm doing something else, please leave me a message and I'll catch you later... Beep"_

"Chal, its John, cant wait to see you tonight, got a big night planned, that new restaurant opening on sunset, the one you want to go to, I've got us 7 o'clock reservations, get back to me. You've got ummmm... rustling sounds well its three pm now, so four hours to get ready, you better start now. I'll pick you up at six thirtyish, love ya, and ring if you need anything. Uh Bye. Click"

Earlier in the day I was happy,

The world was bright and full of joy,

I hadn't really found a purpose until I met her.

Then one night, out late, a beautiful Sheila fell into my lap.

Black leather, red top, long sleeves, dark makeup,

She was a goddess from the minute I met her.

Taking people in, helping them,

Never did a thing for herself,

She made me laugh.

I never wanted to make her cry,

I loved her, I still do

I was hers from the first time she smiled at me.

My angel.

_"Hey there, you've reached Chals office, I'm doing something else, please leave me a message and I'll catch you later... Beep "_

"Hey babe, its me again, its um nearly uh four, your probably in the shower or something, uh, I had something come up, I'm gonna have to get you at seven. Its okay I've already changed the reservations, and I promise I'll have you back at the club by ten. Don't panic if were a few minutes late. I know the guy he's pretty cool about it. Anyway I'll see ya at seven, missing you already babe."

I was looking forward to the dinner,

Wish she would answer the phone,

Need to make sure she wants to go.

Make sure she can, never know with her.

She's always so busy never taking a minute for herself.

Compassionate and kind,

I teased her so many times about having wings and a halo.

She'd just grin at me and make love to me on the floor of her office

After she'd snuggle into my arms and we'd talk.

Said it was the best part of her life.

We'd just chat away like school kids,

Lying naked on her office floor.

Soft carpet, beautiful woman,

And then reality would catch-up

She'd have to leave me.

I hated the look in her eyes

_"Hey there, you've reached Chals office, I'm doing something else, please leave me a message and I'll catch you later... Beep_ "

"Chal, look its five thirty, I'm getting worried, I don't mean to be an alarmist, but where are you? I know I'm probably just being overprotective but two and a half hours? You're never out of the office this long, not on a Friday night. Chal, babe, angel, ring me, keep me sane huh? And I know you'll tease me when ya reach me, I'm too paranoid for my own good. Just afraid that I'll loose ya to some good-looking guy, like toad. Laughs so if ya get the chance, message me, ring me, email me, send up a sky writer, let me know your okay. I love ya chal, bye."

That looks always got to me,

Lying on the floor with her eyes lit up,

I knew she was alive

Beautiful shining blue orbs

She was always so serious all the time,

I though for a while she didn't know how to smile,

Proved me wrong didn't she.

The first holiday, camping in the middle of the woods

Bloody freezing, cute little tent,

And her there telling me she'd get the fire lit....

In the end, I helped her a little bit,

After that it wasn't cold,

Checking that I wasn't an althiaphobe,

She broke out a bag of marshmallows and we just talked and laughed all night,

Watched the sun come up over a mountain,

That was the first time I kissed her,

Soft lips, warm hands, twigs in her hair,

We snuggled into a sleeping bag on the second night,

Her and me, and just snuggled,

She fell asleep clinging to me, and I promised Id always keep her safe.

_"Hey there, you've reached Chals office, I'm doing something else, please leave me a message and I'll catch you later... Beep"_

"Chal this is beyond a joke, its seven, I'm outside the club, there's no one here, Babe I'm worried now, are you in trouble?? I'm panicking, your not answering your mobile, your not answering your office and your not answering your home phone Chal. Give me a sign, please, Babe? The sound of sirens is heard in the distance CHALICE? Well then, I guess your not coming; at least others have the guts to drop their boyfriends by not standing tem up. I'll see you around then I guess, not much else to say is there? You obviously don't want to hang out with me anymore. What did I do? Sniff babe? Please don't do this to me, please? FINE, have it your way, CLICK"

There are a million things I could have done.

Gotten there earlier,

Given up calling and gone in face to face

Locked her in a box Kept her from harm

Wrapped her in gauze and kept her in a tiny room for the rest of her life.

She wouldn't have liked that though,

Not my angel, she liked doing dangerous thing.

Skydiving, scuba diving, base-jumping, archery, fencing,

That was her, she ran a club for mutants,

Dealt with the FOH more times that she'd ever admit.

So what went wrong?

My angel is in the hands of a blue furry doctor and a telepath,

Irony, the joy of my heart being fixed by my sworn enemies.

Remy didn't take the news any better,

My hearts bleeding, and I've know her eight month,

He's know her near eight years,

_"'Ello, mah cheris, Remy say leave him a message after dat beep, OH Real Mature Remy, if you want to leave a message for John, please do so, magnetos voice is heard in the back ground what are you both doing... Beep "_

"Hello, this is Dr Henry McCoy, returning a stream of messages found on Dr Tears, answering machine. I'm sorry to inform you of this, but she was found hanging upside down from the roof of her office at five to seven this evening. She has lost a large amount of blood; please prepare yourself for the worst. The cuts are very deep and she is yet to regain consciousness. If there is any change in her condition I will call you, otherwise you can come to see her at the Xavier institute, thank you, and I'm sorry."

Bleeding to death,

because of some stupid bastard,

Mainly ME,

there are so many things I should have done.

I could have helped her,

Hank said later that she'd been tortured for hours.

And no one knows why,

So that's why I'm sitting here,

Watching the centre of my world slip away from me.

Beeping Machines keeping her alive.

She may have bled,

But I'm bleeding now,

The Cajun looks about the same,

Hasn't said a word in four days, which is a record for him,

Just holds onto her hand,

Were both bleeding for her now,

Bleeding from our depths.

_"Hey there, you've reached Chals office, I'm doing something else, please leave me a message and I'll catch you later... Beep_ "

"Yes, this is Sebastian Shaw, Cathryn, I hope you got the message, next time it will be much more severe. Just remember we own you, regardless of what you are. I've sent you flowers as a get well present. Hopefully they wont need to become a memoriam wreath, after all its not like I'm made of money laughs"

So that's it, what do you think? Tell you what, you press the "go" button and submit a review and I'll think of something to give you! Lol. Id really like feed back on this guys, thanks. A


	2. from within red eyes

Hey there everyone, tis me! Aren't you all happy to see me? Oh well! You might be happy to know that I'm not making this a one shot story; it's going to be longer. I have decided on all the particulars. But I may have to change my rating. Oh well! All fair in death and pain.  
  
To the beautiful reviewers:  
  
MorriganFearn: who left me an excellent review, thank you chicky, I'm really glad that you like the pairing. Hopefully I'll be nice enough to let Chal recover! Hellions? Unfortunately I don't know enough about the hellions to do them justice. But I will do some research, see what I can do. This chapter will be mainly Remy, so you can watch me accidentally stuff him up! I'm so afraid I'll Mary sue him or something. Mmmm dust bunny was very tasty thank you! Sebastian is not a nice person, and we may find out why in this chapter, I haven't written it yet!  
  
ShinigamiPhoenix: Okay Maim away! I like a good maiming don't you? What do you mean you'll think your writings good chicky, your writing rocks!!! Thank you for the review, and the stars, I'm going to stick them on my ceiling so that I can look at them and go, "Wheeeeee, now I have to write another chapter!"  
  
Well into it I guess. I hope that I can do Remy some justice, if I completely screwed the character, please feel free to maim and flame. If you liked it though, read review and you'll get another instalment of this uhhh...I guess you could call it a fic. OH yeah, the song, totally mine, mine, mine! I wrote it I sing it I own it. This isn't a song fic though; the song was just filler for the prose, enjoi!  
  
------------------------  
  
Bleeding from my depths:  
  
Screams in the night,

That's all I hear from my would be companion,

Wait, I referred to myself in first person,

Remy need to sleep, But he can't.

John, he look like his heart been torn out,

Remy's heart been trying to join his on da floor.

So far all Remy done is sit here,

Dats all Remy seems to do anymore.

Sit and watch,

Watch a chile grow into a beautiful woman,

But deep inside she still a chile to me.

I think I'm the only one who can see that she's still a chile.

---------  
  
_Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. _

_It's cold out side, Wind is blowing the air is singing. _

_And she lies, She is broken no one can see her, _

_Through my eyes, I don't know if this is real, _

_And you know I don't think she'll ever be free._

--------------------------

Da Message from Hank was a shock,

John had been fuming for at least hour about being dumped,

Remy was kinda glad, Jean-Luc wanted him gone,

Maybe she finally listened to him neh?

Three messages flashed on da machine,

Da first two were from da Cheri, mah Rogue

Her cute abuse over something Remy had done.

Da third was from Hank,

Remy's feet suddenly wet.

Glass all over the floor, stupid milk.

Hands shaking too much, Play it again,

No joke, again, still the same,

Again,

Again,

Again,

Still da same, Again,

Dis time da World crashed down around us both.

---------------------  
  
_She's an angel; She's a breath of wind,  
  
Fly free little one, _

_Don't let me hold you down, _

_You're everything to me, _

_I'll always be around._

_--------------------------------  
  
_Da trip to Da Xavier School was long,

Across town,

All the lights were red,

Stopping us from getting there,

Keeping us away from her,

It was raining, making da traffic slow too,

Too slow,

No one in da world realised,

No one wanted us near her,

Knocking on da door,

Da short man wit claws answered,

He looked ready for a fight, till he saw John's eyes,

Remy's glasses saved Him showing His pain.

Da rain help hide both of our tears.

-------------------------------  
  
_Her mother didn't think that she should know love, _

_But she found it, Everywhere that she went, _

_I tried so hard buying things to keep her happy But that time, _

_could have been better spent.  
  
She's a flower; she's my rose among the thorns._

_----------------------------------_  
  
Kind words and Blankets, all the x-men really are,

Claw man invited us in,

Da annoying cheery one who walks through walls,

She threw blankets over us,

Something about a hot drink,

Da bald leader, insisted we wait,

Surgery, blood loss, deep cuts, torture,

Most of the words went through me,

Didn't make any sense,

Why her?

What did she do?

Remy should never have left New Orleans,

Should have never left her alone.

----------------------------------  
  
_Now I'm gone, I cannot protect her now  
  
She walks alone, wondering why I cant be beside her now, _

_She'll carry on wondering where I am now, _

_I'll watch her cry in the arms of another man,  
  
She's my Chalice; She's my cup of life._

_--------------------------------_  
  
And here we are,

Brave protectors that failed,

Two fighters who didn't have the sense Too fight for what really matters,

Maybe we're being punished,

Da fire and da thief.

But why through her?

Guess dats da million-dollar question,

Always is.

Why?

She never did nothing,

Remy was da one fighting,

Da one stealing,

da one breaking hearts,

Eyes are wet again; no rain in here to blame it on.

Mon Dieu, Remy is weak.

Remy don't have da strength to fight for her,

He gonna have to fight with her,

Dats all I can do.

----------------------------  
_Fly Free Little one, _

_Don't let life hold you down _

_You're everything to me _

_I'll always be around..............._  
  
------------------------------  
  
And that chickys is your lot. What do you think? Good bad ugly? Review me. Oh yeah the song title, "chalice" it was originally written for a fan fic that I will never post (its bad) from Chal's fathers POV, but I think it worked nicely! Review and tell me what you believe.


	3. Depth and pain within a twisted heart

OKay i had an evil moment, this took me like half an hour to write and I'm heading to a lecture so i hope you enjoy this. This is dark, horrific and very nasty. if you don't like dark and nasty, please don't read it. if you do have a read and see what you think. this is all from.... okay I'll let you guess. I wrote this about an hour after the Remy one so any refferance that sounds nice is cynical. enjoy.

Depth and pain within a twisted heart.

It may have been the wrong thing to do,

But it was necessary,

The girl needed to understand who the boss was,

She was not in control and never will be now.

And that's the way the cookie crumbles.

I could not allow her to gain power,

She already had followers,

People that would die for her,

Fight for her, do anything she'd ask.

That makes a dangerous leader.

So she had to be taught a lesson.

Harsh yes,

Messy, of course,

But I think she got the message,

Or she will if she wakes.

--------------------------

_Hey there, you've reached Chals office, I'm doing something else, please leave me a message and I'll catch you later... Beep_

Yes, this is Sebastian Shaw, Cathryn, I hope you got the message, next time it will be much more severe. Just remember we own you, regardless of what you are. I've sent you flowers as a get well present. Hopefully they wont need to become a memoriam wreath, after all its not like I'm made of money laughs

---------------------------

I don't know why I left a message,

Stupidity, gloating,

Letting her know I was in charge,

It's quite possible that some one else will find it,

See the flashing message light,

Push the button and discover my secret.

Oh well, the compassionate little bitch deserved it,

SO kind, so loving, SO foolish,

The world does not like people, who love,

IT swallows them whole, chews them up and spits them out,

What I did I did for her own good,

Stopping her from making mistakes that others have,

Teach her the rules of survival,

Love doesn't help you survive,

Because once love s gone,

All you have is pain.

--------------------------

"Cathryn, I hope you got the message, next time it will be much more severe."

--------------------------

More severe,

Bleeding wasn't enough for me,

I wanted to see bones,

I wanted her to scream,

She wouldn't,

Hung there looking at me,

Pain in her eyes,

But she didn't scream.

I wanted to show her that her love was a weakness,

So I left the answering machine and the phone close,

But just out of her reach,

Still she didn't scream,

The first time Allerdyce rang tears fell from her eyes.

Mixing with the blood that had already dripped to the floor.

Pure white carpet, soaking up blood that will never come off,

Like the blood on my hands.

------------------------------

"Just remember we own you, regardless of what you are."

------------------------------

Watching her cry was satisfying,

It was a triumph for me,

A way to get to everyone's little angel,

They didn't know her like me.

I've seen what the bitch is capable of,

I know she can kill,

Oh yes, don't think she's pure and sweet,

Under the smiles and the radiance,

Dark seething hate, rage and a killer's instinct,

I should know, I watched her grow up,

Encouraged her mothers abuse,

Helped her father pull the trigger of the gun,

One could almost say,

I made her what she is,

Dr Cathryn Tear,

Near death.

----------------------------

"I've sent you flowers as a get well present."

-----------------------------

That was a silly move,

No one has told me that she's hurt,

How would I know?

Oh well, if she regains consciousness,

They'll find out anyway,

Or if they listen to that Message,

And I don't care,

I'm the black king of the hell fire club,

One of the most powerful men in the world,

I have money, I Have power, I have mutant abilities.

No one can stop me,

Not Allerdyce, Not the Thief and his guild,

And not that simpering little bitch,

She had it coming,

She knew she had it coming,

Challenging me?

I think she lost,

I taught her everything she needed to know,

And she fell in love,

Luckily the Cajun was easy to get rid of,

Allerdyce will be harder,

She knew the rules; she has been punished for them,

You take the risk you pay the price,

And she hasn't even begun to pay yet.

---------------------------------

"Hopefully they won't need to become a memoriam wreath,"

---------------------------------

I don't want her to die,

She's too useful,

And I like having her under my thumb

The information that I get out of her,

Sodium pethanol thank you very much,

Helps me find people that want to stay lost.

But if she's not under my control

No one can have her.

I made her,

I watched her grow,

I saw her pain,

I showed her family love,

She was not allowed to love anyone,

And now she wont,

Those scars were light,

The scientist did a good job,

I re traced them, cut them deeper.

And all for power,

She will never again question me and what I do.

She is mine to do with as I please,

As she was my sisters before.

-----------------------------------

"After all its not like I'm made of money laughs"

------------------------------------

Margaret certainly did a good job on her,

Thankfully my family has few morals,

Torturing, abusing and raping our children,

Is almost a tradition.

It runs deep like our money,

Old money people call it.

Scrimped and saved from someone else's pocket,

Gained, stolen and inherited,

Good breeding, arranged marriages and pain.

My niece wanted to escape that,

Now she knows she can't.

Not even her death will allow her peace.

I control her, I own her,

And when she wakes she will come back to me,

Because I told her too.

If she doesn't.

Pain, will have new meaning for her,

It will be all she knows,

There are men that desire her,

I will give her to them,

There are women that wish her harm,

They will have their wrath.

All at once, crashing upon her till all that is left is a shell,

And I shall fill that shell,

Firstly I will fill it physically,

Finding the joy my sister did in her daughters flesh.

Then mentally, rebuilding her,

Into a twisted and cruel shadow of herself,

Into the killer I know she is,

The person that she fears more than anything in the world,

I'm going to turn her back into herself.

----------------------------------

ohhhhhh lookies, a little button saying 'go' if i push it i wonder what will happen, i hope you all push the button to discover what happens next! lol. i feel kind of dirty and unclean after writing this. i wonder what my lecture is about. BAI -A-


	4. The Scent of blood

Hey all, look another ummm..... work of art (?!?) see if you can guess how this is before the first direct talkies! I'm sleep deprived, stupid pub, stupid beer, i don't drink beer, but I'm blaming it on the beer, oh yeah, my dad came down for the weekend (hooray) onto my beautiful reviewers!

Oh yeah, an updated disclaimer: i still don't own, well, anything, just reminding you that if any one did pay me to write this, i would suggest that they commit themselves. really I don't own most of it, the idea's the style of writing and Chal is mine. the creative liability is also mine so :P if you don't like it main and flame, if you do, can i have some of your prescribed narcotics? please? oh well, yes the reviewers.

DemonRogue13: I'm really glad you liked chaps 2-3 what was chapter one like? lol? i kid, its good to get your review, i like to know that others are gazing my stuff as well!

Mauritanian: jaw drops you typed lots! wow, where to start! yes i am evil i admit it. but those chapters i felt needed to be released close to each other, i was having a good writing day i think. right on the money with Remy/chal, I'm going into their past when i get over this style of writing, just a few more inner turmoils to get through and I'll back log some pasts to you! yay no Mary sue Remy! i like you! have a reviewers gold star! Sebastian, bad man, evil, must hit him with a hammer later. thanks for the suggestion about the guy that found chalice. i was umm, half way through this when i read your review, i was like "dude, weird" oh yeah, lecture, yawn look for some bare necessities Chicky. Lol.

ShinigamiPhoenix: whee gold reviewers star for you too! you have an idiot living in your computer? i must kill her/him/it for you! i like slow torture angst, its better than the quick painfully bad then unconscious variety. i am however concerned that you used the word "awesome" are you feeling OK? lol i kid.... giving out stars is way cool fun like totally yeah! (i speak fluent cheerleader shudders) again yes Sebastian is not a nice guy. evil twisted and cruel, his twisted mind, my twisted mind, i think i know the difference. yeah i do, hes a guy! sieves are useful, if your memory is like one you will never have to look far if you need to strain rice/pasta. lol. as commanded here is the next chapter.

anel, red and cap'n: its my guys, hey guys, you read something i wrote. oh don't let that put you off liking my reviewing skills, please. cap'n stop reading over anel shoulder, its mean and i don't think she likes it! I'm glad you three? i can't count, liked it and i hope you enjoy the next installment. for you i think you are all fantabulouslyrifficcellent for reviewing me and i humbly await your next chapter so i can return the much deserved kudos.

oildragon: i told you you'd like it hey! and know you know!

I admit oil got the fourth chapter two days ago! sorry guys he begged. but here it is, the fourth installment chapter thinggy.

--------------------------

The scent of blood.  
  
Kids shouldn't have to go through this shit,  
  
No one should really,   
  
But they're kids,  
  
The three of their ages combined isn't half of my age,  
  
Kids shouldn't have to suffer like this either,  
  
I'm really glad i smelt that blood,  
  
Nosing around looking for Saber Tooth,  
  
Scent of blood reached me,   
  
Had to force the door,  
  
Young kid hanging from the ceiling,  
  
Wrapped in razor wire,  
  
Huge cuts down both arms  
  
Zig-zagging,  
  
Dripping blood,  
  
And a phone just out of reach,  
  
Some sick bastard....  
  
And I'll kill him.  
  
When we find out who did it.  
  
------------------------------------  
  
_"Hank this is Logan, i need an emergency evacuation, down town, place called the mutant Pitt"  
  
"Understood Logan, casualty?"  
  
"Emergency, best send the x-van,"  
  
"Victim?"  
  
"One kid, aged about 18, lost a lot of blood, you'll need to set up a transfusion in the van"  
  
"Responding, ETA five minutes"_  
  
----------------------------------  
  
Those five minutes were long,  
  
I cut her down,   
  
Staunched the bleeding,  
  
Elevated her arms,   
  
All the medical training I've done helped keep her alive,  
  
The cuts went right to the bone,  
  
As i was waiting with her the phone rang,  
  
Some guy, sounded worried,  
  
That guys sitting in the infirmary now,  
  
Looking at the face of one he thought had abandoned him,  
  
A lot of people are waiting for her to wake.  
  
Gumbos there as well.   
  
That made me think,   
  
Of the poor kid was strung up and shes a mutant,  
  
Could the same thing happen to Rogue, or kitty?  
  
Any of the kids could be at risk,  
  
Best include group attacks in the training session this week,  
  
And knife defense,   
  
Just in-case.  
  
---------------------------------------  
  
_"Logan?"  
  
"In here Hank, Hurry"  
  
"Oh my..."  
  
"Yeah I know, lots of blood,"  
  
"No I mean oh my, its Dr tear,"  
  
"You KNOW this kid"  
  
"Yes, don't worry about that now, help me find a vein,"  
_  
---------------------------------------  
  
We talked as we stabilized her,   
  
Hank didn't even bring Red,  
  
I must have sounded serious on the phone,  
  
Hank told me about the kid as we worked.  
  
He'd met her in some laboratory,   
  
They'd worked on a genetics project.  
  
She was smart,  
  
Not smart enough to save herself though.  
  
When Hank had finished he noticed the answering machine.  
  
Played the messages,   
  
Best we gaged shed been tortured for hours,  
  
Since two o'clockinsh,  
  
The same guy had left messages that increased in worry,  
  
Hank left the kid a message,   
  
Figured he was going out of his mind.  
  
----------------------------------------  
  
_"La'more"   
  
"What"  
  
"Thats love.'  
  
"Whatever is she ready to be moved?"  
  
"Yes, lets get her to a medical facility."  
  
"You got that guys number?"  
  
"Yes I'm going to inform him of whats happened, tell him where to find her."  
  
"Hank your too nice sometimes."_  
  
--------------------------------------  
  
Waiting for Hank to report on the kids condition,  
  
That was hell,  
  
I didn't even know her,  
  
And I was worried,  
  
Saber Tooth was right,  
  
I'm getting soft,  
  
I like being soft,  
  
It means I have something to care about,  
  
I have a heart,  
  
A knock on the door of the institute got my attention,  
  
It was pouring with rain,   
  
That didn't add to my mood at all,  
  
Kitty was coming down the stairs when i opened the door,  
  
Two of the acolytes on our door step,  
  
Soaked to the bone  
  
And pain in their eyes,  
  
Well the Cajun was wearing sun glasses,  
  
But it was easy to tell they were both crying,  
  
Could smell the salt,  
  
Kitty took one look and went motherly on me,  
  
Pulled them inside,  
  
Got them blankets,  
  
Offered them cocoa,  
  
I'd hate to see what she'd do if Magneto came selling raffle tickets,  
  
Or collecting for a charity.  
  
Chuck would be broke.  
  
Speaking of chuck,  
  
Within four minutes of the acolytes arriving he was in the hall,  
  
Just as bad as kitty,  
  
Offered them dry clothes a warm fire and a hot meal.  
  
How could a sweet girl like that know two acolytes?  
  
Be dating one of them?  
  
the mind boggles.  
  
They wanted to see her,  
  
Straight away.  
  
And thankfully chuck said NO.  
  
The shoulders dropped and a real sadness over came the both of them,  
  
More tears,  
  
Rogue came into the hall,  
  
Saw Gumbo,  
  
Saw Gumbos tears,  
  
Hugged Gumbo,  
  
I'm going to kill that cajun......  
  
-----------------------------------------------  
  
_"She's stable, for now, lost a lot of blood,"  
  
"Will she be okay?"  
  
"She should be alright, those wounds will take a long time to heal."  
  
"Hank your a wizard."  
  
"You can go and see her if you like Logan, the boys wont bother you"  
  
"I'll wait till they go,"  
  
"They aren't leaving any time soon, perhaps you should put your differences aside and.."  
  
"No, look I cant be in the same room with those two without the urge to kill them,"  
  
"Well. don't leave it too long, as the one who found her, you have a right to visit her, don't waive it because you cant handle your emotions."_  
  
----------------------------------------------  
  
The reason I didn't want to see her,  
  
My emotions,  
  
Couldn't look at that angelic face without wanting to break something,  
  
Gumbos neck for example.  
  
But pacing outside in the hall ain't helping me,  
  
Middle of the night, cant sleep,  
  
In the hall outside the infirmary,  
  
Why?  
  
Thats always a good question,  
  
I need to stop talking to myself,  
  
The doors right there,  
  
And beyond that,  
  
Pain and suffering,  
  
Okay, first step wasn't so bad.  
  
Both of the boys are asleep.  
  
Cute, both in chairs each holding a hand.  
  
I may have been wrong about them.  
  
After eight days i would have thought they'd given up and gone home.  
  
All the girls think they're lovely.  
  
Take them their meals.  
  
Hugs and kisses,  
  
Even my rogue,  
  
Who'd a thought she'd get along with Gumbo.  
  
The kids lying in bed,  
  
Machines around her,  
  
Hair spread around her face like an angel.  
  
Hank took her off life support two days ago,   
  
cClaiming that she was out of the woods.  
  
Still haven't woken up yet though.  
  
---------------------------------------------------  
  
_"How long?"  
  
"Patience Logan, things like this take time,"  
  
"You said that three days ago.'  
  
"You haven't even been in to see her."  
  
"I know, I'm waiting."  
  
"They aren't going to leave. Logan GO, talk to her."  
  
"I will when I'm ready"  
  
_---------------------------------------------------  
  
I'm ready now,  
  
Here in the room,  
  
Watching her breath  
  
Hanks still got her on oxygen,  
  
But at least shes breathing.  
  
Face is pale,  
  
Dark circles under both eyes,  
  
Arms bandaged up to her arm pits.  
  
Thick bandages,   
  
Lots of gauze to cover the stitching.  
  
The kid has weird eyes.  
  
Both of the open  
  
Looking at me,

Blinking,  
  
A smile turns the corner of her mouth up wards.  
  
I look at her,   
  
Weird eyes,  
  
Slit like a cats,  
  
But it looks like someones swirled it around,   
  
The points of the pupil are off centerer.  
  
And the colors,  
  
Blue, as blue as the ocean,   
  
Deeper that a deep dark stormy sky.  
  
And purple bands around the iris,  
  
The white part blood shot.  
  
She looks me up and down.  
  
-----------------------------------------------  
  
_"Nice claws....."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Ah said, nice claws...."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"X-ray vision,"  
  
"Oh"  
  
"Where am ah?"  
  
"Xavier's School for gifted youngsters"  
  
"Why?'  
  
"You don't remember being attacked?"  
  
"Ah 'member that, what am ah here?"  
  
"I found you, Hank knew you, and here you are."  
  
"Oh, thank you."  
  
"For what?"  
  
"Fahnding me."  
  
"Your welcome. you should probably sleep."  
  
"Yeah, just one question?"  
  
"Whats that?"  
  
"You're Weapon X aren't you?"  
  
_----------------------------------------------------  
  
Just like that,  
  
Identified  
  
Like an insect specimen.  
  
She knew me at a glance.  
  
Branded like a project,  
  
Did I ever mention how much i hate scientists.  
  
No matter how young they are.  
  
Or how nice they seem,  
  
I hate them,  
  
Thats another reason I didn't go near her,  
  
I don't want her to get close.  
  
Shes a white coat, she'll poke, prod and ask questions,  
  
Just like Red and Chuck.  
  
Rogue just snuck in,  
  
Happy voices floated out when she opened the door,  
  
The kid must be okay then.  
  
Time for me to disappear for a while.  
  
Back into the shadows and darkness where i belong  
  
Just until she's gone.   
  
When shes gone, I'll come back.  
  
I wont ....  
  
I can't deal with the look in her eyes,  
  
Sympathy,  
  
Compassion,  
  
Tenderness,  
  
She felt sorry for me, 

For what they did,

And she doesn't even know me.  
  
-------------------------------------------  
  
_Dear Hank,  
  
I've had something come up,   
  
Phone call from an old friend,  
  
Theres a few things I got to do,  
  
No idea when I'll be back.  
  
Keep an eye on the kid for me,  
  
And make sure Rogue stays away from Gumbo.  
  
That is not negotiable,  
  
Logan.  
_  
-------------------------------------------

ohhher, which character will i slaughter next? we shall see we shall see dear reviewers, review me and tell me what you thought? did i ruin Logan for you or give him a third dimension. i read the instructions they said just add water. stupid packet mix X-men, everyone knows i can't cook right? right?? until well later.... A


	5. In her own words

Yeah another chapter, thanks to everyone that reviewed, again I don't own any of this, except Chal and the original ideas. I invented the legacy stuff as well, not the original idea; I just mutated it and made it evil.

Onto the wonderful people that read this Fic and respond:

MorriganFearn: hey chicky, yeah sorry about the name thing, seems that your user id is a spelling error, and some twit pushed the wrong button. My bad, sorry about that. Thank you for the review OMG it is soooooo long! X-men packet mix? Try Woolworth's on aisle ten, but hurry, stocks are limited and its first come first served. Thank you for the in-depth analysis of my chapter. It made me go back and read it, fyi, Logan was looking for saber tooth cause that's what he always seems to do, and it was a good excuse for him to be in the alley behind the club. But I liked the idea you drew from it, about killing and saving lives. Very cool. Bangs head against wall, yeah sorry I thought that part was too violent for Logan to do so I left it out. As always I have no idea what I'm about to type so this story could, can and probably will go any which way. Thank you for the kudos, they were crunchy, and the dust bunnies were delicious, remind me later to give you a recipe for dust bunny soup. Its scrummy and high in bouncy. Thanks again for the review, I give you three reviewers stars (out of five,) and a packet of X-man plot muffin mix! Ahh the little plot muffins are in the oven and allowing the scent of malice and nasty stuff to wash over me, be warned!

ShinigamiPhoenix: blow up the microwave/. That totally rules; give your sis a hug for me! I know how she feels. I'm wicked proud of you too, good guess, I myself didn't figure out it was Logan until the start of this chapter so I'm a little slow I guess. This one is an easy guess for you cause you have the character stats for her. You may find this chapter boring as well, cause most of this is background stuff for . I like Logan as a character cause he can do lots of things, Angry, Mad, Moody, Pissed, Fighty, Bezerker, ummm…. That's about it. Oh yeah I left out angsty. Logan emotionless I think not, he has lots of shades of gray. But I agree with you, lots of people write him as a neutral character. And that bores me. I'm glad I haven't managed to ruin on character for you yet. I promise I'll try harder! Rambling is good. I like rambling. You want more! Okay, I want more too! I can't wait for your next roses chapter. Oh yeah reviewer's stars you get three as well!

DemonRogue13: thank you again, as much fun as long reviews are I always appreciate concise and to the point opinions of my work. I am totally glad you liked my version of Logan. And I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter as well I hope that you enjoy this one just as much. It's an O.C (well that gave away who's POV it is didn't it.) I'm hoping for character depth and a non-Mary sue feel! Enjoy and I can't wait for your next review. I award you two reviewer stars.

Dear everyone else who reads this fic. Don't be shy, have your say. Let me know if you like the story. And guess what. PENGUINS RULE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If my spelling sucks blame the computer! I can't spell and you should all know that by now!

My motto "sphull chucker? Whats a sphul kekur?"

Onto the fic, (this is a long fic, its like 11 pages, without the reviewer response. ARGGGGG go get a drink and some food it's going to be a long haul. )

In her own words.

Genius,

That's what my IQ suggested,

Genius.

Irony,

Brilliant irony,

Genius huh?

Well this Genius isn't particularly bright.

I think I'm Kind Stupid actually,

Nearly got myself killed,

That was pretty stupid,

Talking to Sebastian,

That was really stupid,

Not running away,

Stupidity Supreme.

Now look where I am,

Stuck in another hospital

Needles in my arms,

Friends at my side

And one hell of a headache.

Stupid brain,

Already got me into trouble.

Now it has to remind me,

I nearly died,

Okay?

Isn't that enough?

I hate being smart,

Johns sitting next to me on the bed.

He looks like hell,

I don't want to know what I look like.

Pretty messed up.

But that's the way he likes me,

Beaten,

Submissive,

Always has,

The same way she liked me.

---------------------------------------------

"Cathryn, Get IN HERE!"

"But Mother, I have home work I have to...."

SLAP

"Shut up, stop crying, you know what to do."

Sobs

Slap

"What did I just say?"

"I'm sorry"

"Just do it, I'll get you a present."

----------------------------------------------

She was always like that,

Buying me things,

Father did that too,

They tried to buy my love with material thing,

Didn't make up for the abuse

The pain

The loneliness.

That's why I love New Orleans,

After Mother died,

Father had no time for me,

Sent me away to school,

A Genetics expert at age 9,

Jean-Luc was impressed.

Father met him somewhere,

They became good friends.

It was decided that I'd live with Jean Luc

Until father had time for me.

Nine years later and I'm still waiting.

Remy looks like hell too.

There's no smile in his eyes.

His eyes used to twinkle brightly,

This must be killing him.

He my older Bro'

He takes care of me,

Watches my back.

Maybe that's why it happened,

Totally my fault of course.

Hell my arms hurt.

Must have lots a lot of blood.

Hank wont let me look at my charts though,

So I cant tell what's going on.

I hate being like this,

Weak,

Pathetic,

Hurt,

Letting Sebastian win,

Ever moment I'm in here,

He's winning.

And he knows it.

------------------------------------------

"Flowers just arrived. For you Dr Tear."

"From who? Everyone that knows Ahm in here is here."

"There's a card, why don't you open it and see?"

Paper rustles

"Cheri? Why you go pale"

"It's from Sebastian"

"Merde"

"Hey where you learn to swear in French Allerdyce? Remy is impressed!"

"What's it say Chal?"

--------------------------------------

He thinks he owns me,

That bastard,

Ordering me about like one of his minions,

He doesn't even want me to ask how high to jump,

Just jump till he says otherwise.

Well I'm not going to put up with it.

I'm going to get out of this bed,

Get dressed,

And then I'm going to kill him.

When Hank undoes these restraints anyway.

I tried to get up before.

Apparently I'm not allowed to go anywhere.

Doctor's orders.

Well I'm a doctor,

And all I need right now is a bullet,

A gun,

And a target painted on my 'loving' uncles face.

He makes me so mad.

I hate him,

I hate what he wants me to become,

I won't join hellfire,

I won't do what he says.

Viva le résistance.

Stupid restraints.

I don't like being tied down,

Brings back terrible memories,

Of my past,

Before I lived with Jean-luc.

Of what she did,

And then after I left New Orleans,

Of a changed man,

Cold hands,

Burning eyes,

Rope around my wrists.

I couldn't move,

Just like now,

Now isn't like that,

Mace isn't here,

Neither are the scientists.

But if I close my eyes,

I'll think I'm there,

They don't know,

And I'm not going to tell.

Well Hank knows,

I think…………..

-----------------------------------------------------

"Hey, open your eyes."

Blink

"Can you tell me your name?"

"Cathryn."

"Hello Cathryn, nice of you to join us in the land of the conscious,"

"Where…?"

"A laboratory facility for mutants,"

"Who are you?"

"My name is Dr Hank McCoy. Don't worry, I may be big and blue, but I'm not dangerous."

"What are you a doctor of?"

"This and that. Your pretty cut up? Remember what happened to you?"

"Yeah"

"Care to elaborate?"

"They hit me, cut me, let him out f his cage, let him hurt me."

"Him?"

"Project Mace, they're making a mutant, changing the genetics of a normal human being."

"And why did they do this to you?"

"Cause I said I wouldn't help them anymore."

"Why?"  
--------------------------------------------------------

Hank found out a lot about me that day,

I told him all about Project Mace,

The genetic groundwork I had been doing,

The chip in the back of my neck.

Luckily for me,

Hank had nabbed a scalpel from his workstation.

Removed the chip and set me free.

I told his about my life,

Where I'd grown up,

What id done,

By the end of an hour

Hank admitted he knew who I was,

Dr. Cathryn Tear,

One of the youngest genetic scientists in the world.

I didn't tell him a few things,

I chose to leave them out.

How my mother had raped me to get into the hellfire's inner circle,

How my father used to visit me in New Orleans

And have to ask his agent to, book me in.

How he had betrayed me,

And signed me up for this project.

I let Hank assume I was a happy and well-adjusted child,

That happened to understand genetics,

However, aged fourteen,

I had been drugged, beaten raped and abused a countless number of times.

I was use to the taste of blood,

The sight of death didn't affect me.

And my mutation only aided my profession.

Hank decided that I was stable.

What I didn't tell Hank,

Was that I knew who he was,

And I knew what they planned to do to us.

--------------------------------------------------------

"The legacy virus?!?"

"Yes Dr McCoy, the virus, mutate it, make it better."

"And if I wont do it?"

"Dr Tear is so young and pretty, don't you think?"

"That's malevolent, perverted and vindictive."

"Thank you. Get to work."

-----------------------------------------------

Nine versions of the virus later,

Nathaniel Essex was introduced to our lab group.

Dr Essex was my tutor in genetics,

Excellent man,

Slightly evil,

Okay I admit he's power mad crazy and obsessive.

But e has a brilliant mind

And I was glad to see a familiar face.

Hank wasn't too impressed,

But biting the bullet was easy,

Our captors wanted cures for the viruses,

Guess who was infected with each of them,

To make the day go faster?

Vulnerable little old me.

I hate being vulnerable.

More than I hate Remy and John trying to feed me,

Cause Hank won't let me up.

I think they are enjoying seeing me slowed down though.

I admit that I do a lot of dangerous things,

Life is to short, I should know,

I've come so close to dying,

----------------------------------------------

"Cathryn?"

"Hmmmm what…?"

"Easy. You died, but your okay now."

"Huh?"

"Remember our dear captor Mr. Herald, stabbing you with a needle?"

"Oh yeah. You found the cure?"

"Seven down, two to go."

"Great. Lets get to work on the next one."

"Oh No little one, I won't have my best student bouncing around after a brush with death."

"But Dr Essex…"

"No whining, sleep some more, when you wake, you can get started on the gene coding."

"Yes Dr Essex"

------------------------------------------------

During that time, I think Hank started to like Dr Essex.

He acted like an overprotective father,

Hank was more motherly,

I prefer his bedside mannerisms too.

I died twice,

The legacy versions were more potent as the numbers went up.

Legacy one,

The original virus,

Was tame, took years to work.

Eating the mutant from the inside out,

Slowly stopping them from using their powers,

Then internalizing the powers,

Building up a power pressure,

Destroying the mutant from within.

Legacy two, took months to kill,

Another slow and painful death.

Version three took four months to take full effect.

Because it moved quicker it was harder to find a cure for it.

Mutating the genetics of the virus,

Meant it also had to have a mutated cure.

Four, Five and Six, each took two months to destroy the victim.

Four increased the pain, but only effected mutants that had been physically mutated,

Five attacked the bodies' outer extremities first,

Eating away the skin and bone, moving up arms and legs,

Once in the main organs it was lights out.

Six, only effected telepaths, and had a mixture of four and fives symptoms.

Seven took seven days to kill,

Ironically.

Didn't get much sleep that week.

Eight was clocked at taking 26 and a half hours to completely destroy the victim.

And nine,

Well nine was a different story.

---------------------------------------------------

"Three hours."

"WHAT?"

"That's how long it will take, three hours"

"To destroy the infected party."

"Yeah. No mutant would stand a chance against it."

"Someone would have to."

"Like who? Weapon X?"

"Whose Weapon X Dr Essex?"

-------------------------------------------------

That's how I found out about Logan,

At least that's what Hank says his name is.

After I had been told about Weapon X I did a lot of reading,

I was kind of obsessed with the idea of a metal man,

Claws and an attitude.

I've seen X-rays,

Files,

Classified information,

No one really knows who he was.

But he found me,

Save my life,

And I own his a lot of things,

And they tell me he's disappeared,

If I had known his real name,

I would have used it.

But I didn't

I called him Weapon X

I could see the disappointment in his bones.

Sebastian took out my lenses,

I don't see like normal people see.

Colors, pictures,

My mutant ability allows me to see bones,

And DNA,

Its like X-ray vision with fringe benefits.

And the claws look wicked lying against the radius and the ulna,

Like talons waiting to be unleashed,

Hank tells me Logan dislikes scientists,

I don't really wonder why though.

I don't like scientist much either,

And I am one.

I was encouraged to become one,

For me it was all a game,

I was too young to understand how serious what I was doing really was.

That's when I met Nathaniel,

He nurtured my love of genetics,

Later Hanks opinion was that he molded me into a genetic loving freak.

But I did call Hank a pretentious blue git,

So the insult was in fun.

Hank invented my lenses,

They cover my eyes,

Make them appear normal

And they allow me to see thing better,

Not clearly,

But it's better than seeing bones all the time.

Bones and spots.

Maybe Sebastian thought that taking out my lenses would hide him from my gaze.

But I know his gene code,

It screams to me,

Deep within my mind I was screaming.

Every blow causes my senses to cry out in pain,

When John first rang, tears fell.

But I wasn't going to give Sebastian the satisfaction of watching me break.

No matter what my heart was doing.

------------------------------------------------------

_"Hey there, you've reached Chals office, I'm doing something else, please leave me a message and I'll catch you later... Beep"_

"Chal, its John, cant wait to see you tonight, got a big night planned, that new restaurant opening on sunset, the one you want to go to, I've got us 7 o'clock reservations, get back to me. You've got ummmm... rustling sounds well its three pm now, so four hours to get ready, you better start now. I'll pick you up at six thirtyish, love ya, and ring if you need anything. Uh Bye. Click"

"Oh Cathryn, isn't that cute, he wants to take you out. Problem is, so do I."

-------------------------------------------------

Torture doesn't bother me,

Pain affects me,

But I have a high tolerance for it,

In all my years of conditioning myself,

I forgot to wall up one thing,

My heart.

I don't love easily,

I don't trust easily either.

But when I do,

I'm loyal,

Devoted,

Compassionate,

My world revolves around the things I love,

I love my club,

I love helping people,

Mutants and base line humans,

It doesn't matter,

If they need help, I help.

My door is open twenty four hours, seven days a week.

That gets me into a lot of trouble.

I sleep when I can,

I was off guard when Sebastian came in,

But the phone messages from John,

Cut me more than the knife did.

The knife scraping along my bone,

Was nothing compared to Johns voice cutting into my heart.

And Sebastian taunting me,

I used to love my uncle,

He was a good friend.

Taught me how to debate,

Let me take care of myself,

Treated me like an adult.

Even when I was six.

Now I hate him,

And what he's done to me.

I hate him for what he's doing to my friends.

Making them suffer while I recuperate.

So when Hank lets me up,

I'm disappearing.

Maybe I'll hunt down Logan and have a long chat with him.

Drop in on Tante and Jean-Luc,

Talk about the old days over Jambalaya and coke.

But I won't stay around,

The pain in their eyes is overwhelming me.

Rubbing salt to the wound,

-------------------------------------------------------------

_"Hey there, you've reached Chals office, I'm doing something else, please leave me a message and I'll catch you later... Beep "_

"Hey babe, its me again, its um nearly uh four, your probably in the shower or something, uh, I had something come up, I'm gonna have to get you at seven. Its okay I've already changed the reservations, and I promise I'll have you back at the club by ten. Don't panic if were a few minutes late. I know the guy he's pretty cool about it. Anyway I'll see ya at seven, missing you already babe."

---------------------------------------------------------

John always teases me about spending too long in the shower.

It's the only time I really get to myself,

I'd spend hours under the rushing water.

Letting the droplets of water slowly etch away my facade,

Washing my pain and stress down the drain.

Sebastian thought this was intriguing.

He didn't really know about John,

I forgot to mention him, somewhat.

That got me in trouble,

Not that I wasn't already.

Sebastian kept telling me to scream,

Cry out.

Show him that he was hurting me.

He did hurt me,

But I don't like to scream,

Nothing good happens when you scream,

Or when you cry,

You just get hurt more.

Pleading gives people power.

They become more horrible.

Mother used to love it when I begged,

And if she were here she'd take me.

Bleeding or not.

Mace insisted I beg too.

Why do all the horrible people in my life want to dominate who I am?

Why won't people let me be me?

Even Hank, John and Remy are oppressing me.

Admittedly I really don't have a leg to stand on,

But I tried.

Three seconds before I was picked up by an angry Cajun and put back into bed,

He was happy I was okay,

But placed me under hospital arrest.

Then he checked the restraints himself.

I'm not going anywhere for a while.

I hate captivity.

I think I hate more that I should.

I used to love everything,

Then I was conditioned for a society that will eventually lead to my death.

------------------------------------------------------------

"My niece, look at the blood, I hope you have a good carpet cleaner."

"Shut up."

"No. Not until you beg scream, or do something amusing."

"Like what?"  
"Die is that good for you?"

"You sick bastard."

"Yup I am, oh look, phones ringing,"

_"Hey there, you've reached Chals office, I'm doing something else, please leave me a message and I'll catch you later... Beep_ "

"Chal, look its five thirty, I'm getting worried, I don't mean to be an alarmist, but where are you? I know I'm probably just being overprotective but two and a half hours? You're never out of the office this long, not on a Friday night. Chal, babe, angel, ring me, keep me sane huh? And I know you'll tease me when ya reach me, I'm too paranoid for my own good. Just afraid that I'll loose ya to some good-looking guy, like toad. Laughs so if ya get the chance, message me, ring me, email me, send up a sky writer, let me know your okay. I love ya chal, bye."

"Hey chal. Why don't you get the phone and call him?"

---------------------------------------------------------

I tried to,

Reached like hell,

Couldn't make it,

Blood loss,

Lack of sleep,

Tears and blood streaked my face.

Eyes stinging because some of the blood had dripped into them,

But I couldn't reach the phone,

If I got close Sebastian kicked it away

Taunting and teasing,

I swear if I was on speaking terms with Belladonna

He'd be dead,

But I'm not

So he'll live,

Bastard.

He left not long after that phone call,

Left me hanging,

In the middle of my office,

Tears in my eyes,

Blood on the floor,

Pain in my heart.

Struggling to stay conscious.

I didn't know how long I had been there,

The doorknob turned,

I thought Sebastian had come back,

This metal guy with claws came in,

Everything was brighter,

He made a phone call, cut me down.

The last thing I heard was the phone ringing,

------------------------------------------------------------

_"Hey there, you've reached Chals office, I'm doing something else, please leave me a message and I'll catch you later... Beep"_

"Chal this is beyond a joke, its seven, I'm outside the club, there's no one here, Babe I'm worried now, are you in trouble?? I'm panicking; you're not answering your mobile, your not answering your office and your not answering your home phone Chal. Give me a sign, please, Babe? The sound of sirens is heard in the distance CHALICE? Well then, I guess your not coming; at least others have the guts to drop their boyfriends by not standing tem up. I'll see you around then I guess, not much else to say is there? You obviously don't want to hang out with me anymore. What did I do? Sniff babe? Please don't do this to me, please? FINE, have it your way, CLICK"

--------------------------------------------------------

That hurt,

More than the knife,

More than the whip,

More than the kicking, punching, teasing,

More than all of it,

John thought I was horrible.

He though I'd stood him up,

He hated me,

And I hated me too,

For being weak,

For not fighting more,

For not reaching for the phone,

I hate myself,

Because I should have died,

I should have caved in.

Then I wouldn't have to watch them suffer.

I don't want to see their pain anymore.

I hate seeing others in pain,

And it's all his fault,

However Sebastian,

Is not a genius,

Sent me flowers,

I dislike being sent flowers,

Makes me feel dead.

But he sent them,

No one told him I was hospitalized,

He had no idea where I was taken.

He proved that he was watching what happened,

And that beyond all doubt he was the one that did this to me.

Like my darling uncle, the flowers had a card,

A little reminder that he thinks he owns me.

He doesn't

And I'm going to prove that too him,

Once I get out of this bed.

--------------------------------------------------------

_"Dear sweetheart, get well soon, I hope that you weren't too badly damaged._

_I will see you in England once you are better,_

_This is not a request,_

_Your loving Uncle,_

_Sebastian Shaw. BKHC"_

------------------------------------------------------

evil hmmm, I hope you enjoyed this installment, if you did, click on the pretty blue 'go' button and drop me a line, until next time dear readers I shall bid you all a lovely day, night and a good rest of it. A


	6. view point of an animal

From the mouths of Beasts.

Mutant,

Beast,

Animal,

That's what I am to humans

Horrifyingly strong,

Ugly,

Furry,

I am an outcast,

Humans don't like me.

Mutants don't like me.

That's something I don't care about though.

Why should I?

I'm big

I'm strong,

I'm powerful

Nothing can't get to me.

Nothing affects me,

Words,

Stones,

Bullets,

Adamantinum claws,

They don't bother me,

Guns,

Tanks,

Airplanes,

Armed forces.

Not even trucks stop me.

Scientists bother me,

They use drugs,

They control.

I will not be controlled,

I have no remorse,

No feelings,

I kill without thought,

I attack without fear of consequences.

I hear crying…

Ahhh… the sweet sound of a woman crying,

What could be more satisfying?

Except screaming?

Not even my walk along the rooftops,

Is as satisfying as listening to a woman scream,

Hand around her throat,

Blood running from her neck,

Think I'll take a closer look.

-----------------------------------

"Mommy what is that?"

"What's what?"

"The monster that jumped across the buildings?"

"What monster?"

"That one…"

"James, stop playing game's"

"But I'm not mommy, I saw it. I did"

-----------------------------------

Hmmm…

Through that window.

There she is,

Lots of blood,

A man in black,

He reeks of evil,

Knife in hand,

The window is open,

Why won't she scream?

People on the street would hear,

Maybe she doesn't want to be rescued.

Ringing phone,

Futile,

Humans are truly stupid,

It's easy to see he wont let her near it,

Still she tries.

Humans make me wonder,

If I am such a monster,

What would they call this man?

His eyes are dark,

Nearly black,

And he cares not,

Cruel laughing from the window,

Drifting on the air with the scent of blood.

Mmmm… blood…

But no screams,

Hanging like that,

Maybe it hurts to scream.

I do wonder who it is.

Some poor whore who asked for too much,

For the man looks as if he is made of money,

Neat clothes,

Hand sewn,

Sweet smells from his cologne,

All mixing in the air,

Mixing in the scream-less air.

--------------------------------------

"There he is again mommy"

"James, I told you, stop it."

"But look mommy, up there."

"James darling, that's a gargoyle, it's not a real monster."

"Why is it moving then mommy?"

"It's not moving James, they were made to look real and scare people."

"Oh, okay mommy."

---------------------------------------

Talking,

Why talk when you torture someone,

It's cruel and mean,

I just hurt,

No point to talking,

It wastes time,

Time that can be used to make them scream.

Wait…

I know that face.

A scientist,

I hate scientists,

Poking,

Prodding,

Drugging,

Testing,

Pinching,

Hurting,

Making me crazy,

I should help the dark man,

The scientist would scream,

Bleed and scream,

Closer,

The scent of blood is stronger,

The room is dark with evil,

And despair,

Sobbing,

And a phone ringing.

-----------------------------------------

"No. Not until you beg scream, or do something amusing."

"Like what?"  
"Die is that good for you?"

"You sick bastard."

"Yup I am, oh look, phones ringing,"

_"Hey there, you've reached Chals office, I'm doing something else, please leave me a message and I'll catch you later... Beep_ "

"Chal, look its five thirty, I'm getting worried, I don't mean to be an alarmist, but where are you? I know I'm probably just being overprotective but two and a half hours? You're never out of the office this long, not on a Friday night. Chal, babe, angel, ring me, keep me sane huh? And I know you'll tease me when ya reach me, I'm too paranoid for my own good. Just afraid that I'll loose ya to some good-looking guy, like toad. Laughs so if ya get the chance, message me, ring me, email me, send up a sky writer, let me know your okay. I love ya chal, bye."

"Hey chal. Why don't you get the phone and call him?"

---------------------------------------------

Chalice,

The scientist,

Who escaped,

They hunted her,

Treated her like an animal,

And not she is caged again,

But I will not help her,

The man is know to me also,

There is nothing I will do.

Though she set me free,

Needles and pain,

Pain, and blood,

Her pain, in the air,

My pain left behind,

We aren't that different

Humans and I,

Darkness within,

I move away from the window,

Compassion destroyed,

Let the young hang,

The sobs are louder,

Sounds of a whip,

But not one scream.

She said that she'd scream for me.

No one ever did that,

Didn't treat me like a freak.

Called me Victor,

Not Saber Tooth,

I won't help here,

But I will help her.

-----------------------------------

"WOLVERIENE"

"SABER TOOTH?"

"COME AND CATCH ME!!!!!!"

-----------------------------------

That's your lot, what do you think? When did you figure out it was sabertooth? I think I kinda ruined the character but I have this plan, and this is the sick little side idea that spawned from it.

Wheeeeeee and my beautiful reviewers,

Shinigamiphoenix: again a beautiful review, yes you can poke some one gently with a cow prod. Ask Logan! Yes your allowed to be proud that I cried! This it what I call an outside view of the situation, I hope you enjoyed it as much as I liked writing it in the 20 minutes I had before lecture! Three stars for you!

DemonRogue13: thank you again, I'm glad you liked the story; I hope this meets your standard as well!


	7. Angels Wings

Okay shinigamiphoenix, as requested here is another update. Lol, I hope you like this one! It's a general fic, lots of people; I'm going to need to actually put more into this than I thought. And I have half an hour before my lecture. Wish me luck! Oh yeah, the song, I wrote it! Mine mine mine! If you want to hear it, send me a tape and I'll record it for you!  
  
If Only I had....  
  
**_-Pyro-_**  
  
If only I had been there,

Her eyes opened,

She looked around,

I was gone,

She must have thought I didn't care,

I do,

If only I could have been there,

This guy in black came in,

Said he wanted to talk to me,

So I went with him,

He offered me a way to save her life,

Said if I agreed,

She would never be hurt again,

How could a loving boyfriend refuse?

So I said yes,

I didn't want to see her hurt,

I knew she was hurting on the inside as well,

She hates being weak.

So I agreed to the terms,

Then I asked him his name,

Sebastian Shaw,

He's the one who did this to her.

Ball of flame in my hand before he knew what was going on,

And he laughed,

He wasn't afraid,

Told me she'd be dead before he hit the floor.

What could I do?

Shoulders dropped,

I nodded,

And signed my life away,

Biggest mistake I ever made.

I lost her,

When I thought I was protecting her,  
  
------------------------------------------  
  
_Thunder roars, the angel closes her eyes  
  
and nothing in the world will be the same.  
  
Thunder roars the sweet angel flies;  
  
there is nothing to take away this pain._

------------------------------------------

**_-Remy-_**

Dat fool,

Dat idiotic fool,

What was he thinking?

Not even Remy dumb enough to do dat.

And Remy done some stupid things,

Like Belle for example.

But nothing dis stupid,

Not joining da Hell-Fire club,

John walked in shoulders slumped,

Man in black behind him,

Chal gasped,

Remy charged a card,

And John held up both hands,

Signalling dat it was alright.

Shaw smiled like a shark,

Explained dat John had sacrificed himself for Chal,

Connard,[1]

Fil's de la putain,[2]

Merde.[3]

Dat ain't no sacrifice,

It's a death sentence for her,

She can't love no homme in Hell-Fire,

But it can't be undone,

And she knows dat,

And now John knows dat too,

She told him,

Told him to get out of her sight,

Couldn't look him in da eye,

Tears running down her cheeks,

And him standing der defending what he'd done,

For the best,

He said,

She waved him away,

Told him to go,

Remy not sure who was more hurt.

But John,

He left,

Went with Sebastian,

Look like dat evil baiseur de mere,[4]  
  
Look like he won.  
  
And he knows it too

--------------------------------

_See the sky when it calls  
  
watch the world as it falls  
  
crashing and burning  
  
tumbling and turning  
  
now is the time  
  
to say goodbye  
  
just take my hand _

_And fly..._

-------------------------------

_**-Chal-**_

Broken,

That's all I am,

Not saved,

Not protected,

Just broken,

How did this happen?

Why did this happen?

How could he do this?

"John?"

When he walked in with Sebastian,

I was ready to fight for him,

To die for him,

Then it turns out he's joined Hell-Fire,

I can't forgive him for that,

Even if he was trying to save me,

I won't ever forgive him,

I can't,

Sebastian knows he's won,

Knows he's broken my heart,

Taken everything I ever loved from me,

And now he's taken John.

John let it happen,

And I don't know why.

I can't live with this,

I won't live with this.

I've had it,

I'm going.

---------------------------------

_Thunder roars, the world begins to fall  
  
as the destruction takes its toll.  
  
Thunder roars death starts to call  
  
and hope is swallowed into a big black hole_

---------------------------------

**_-Hank-_**

I should have done something.

Of course I knew she was upset,

It's quite possible that I could have stopped her,

In fact,

It's much more likely that I could have stopped her,

But knowing Dr Tear,

Not much stops her.

I've taken bullets out of her,

Reset bones,

Stopped legacy from destroying her,

Who would have thought that a little prick with that needle,

Would have done this much damage?

Rogue is crying,

Her make-up running,

Snuggled in Remy's arms,

Remy looks horrible,

His eyes blood shot,

Muttering,

Charles is helping me of course,

Trying to find her mind,

Before she slips into oblivion.

So much trouble from one little needle.

Though through history little things like this,

Caused disasters.

Troy fell because of a little wooden horse.

Agent orange greatly affected the war in Vietnam.

Mutants though small in number,

Cause mass problems for base line humans,

And the X gene is tiny and insignificant,

Yet it affects so many people.

The drug she used was lethal,

The dosage was lethal,

Still she lives,

Hanging on the edge,

Remy muttered something about slapping her when she wakes up.

That's if she wakes up.

So sad,

That one so young Lost all hope in the world.

------------------------------------

_See the sky when it calls  
  
watch the world as it falls  
  
crashing and burning  
  
tumbling and turning  
  
now is the time  
  
to say goodbye  
  
just take my hand  
  
and fly._

------------------------------------

_**-Charles-**_

Children don't need this,

They should grow and learn,

Not feel so desperate they kill themselves.

The mind of a tortured child,

Is not the ideal place for a telepath.

Deep within the swirling mess of pain,

We can do more damage than good.

A young girl is huddled,

A child of six or seven,

Dressed in white,

The inner child,

Most would say.

But what I learnt from Hank,

This young lady never had a childhood.

Still, I have to try.

Chasing the child down a stairwell,

Spiralling downwards,

It goes on seemingly forever,

Down,

Down,

Down,

She stops and sits upon a step,

This young lost soul,

I sit beside her,

She cries,

Not because of Pyro,

Not because she had been beaten,

Or hurt,

But because she is all alone,

In a dark world,

Where nothing is bright for her,

The child feels as if nothing will ever be bright again.

What can I say?

She has so much to offer,

There is so much she has left to do

Grow and learn,

Live, love, understand.

Death is an end.

There is no second chance in this world.

Sob's slow,

Bright blue eyes look deep inside me.

She is searching for hope,

Looking for what she has lost,

I want to give her so much,

We all do,

But she needs to come back to us,

I've lost children before,

I wont let this one go.

So much doubt within her young mind.

Pain, suffering,

To her, life is a lonely path,

She doesn't want to walk it alone,

And she won't have to.

I offer her my hand,

She takes it.

Smiles,

Such a beautiful smile,

Innocent and pure,

Untouched by death, pain and loss.

A smile that I will never see on her face,

Not in the real world,

Not outside of her shattered mind,

And I will always grieve the loss.

--------------------------------------

_Who killed my love today?  
  
Who went and took it away?  
  
Who threw it too the wind  
  
won't you let me in?_

--------------------------------------

_**-Chal-**_

Stupid idea,

That's me all over,

Remy's hell pissed at me.

So is Rogue,

And everyone else.

I don't care,

They can think what they like,

Try and understand me,

My complex inner workings,

Or whatever Hank said,

When they wake tomorrow,

All they will find is a note,

Letting them know I'm OK,

But I can't take the looks in their eyes,

Pity is one thing I'll never swallow

I can't,

That's all people ever feel for me,

Pity, sorrow,

And I hate it when people hurt for me,

They say things like,

'I'm so sorry you had to go through that.'

When they really wonder why I'm still fighting.

I've fought my whole life,

For me,

John is now a casualty of war,

With him goes another part of my heart,

Soon I will be just a shell,

I need to stop loving,

And start living,

Sebastian knows he hold the upper hand,

At least he thinks he does,

What ever his plans for John are,

I will find out,

I will stop them,

And I will reclaim my heart.

Don't misunderstand me,

I don't want John back,

He knew the consequences for joining Hell-Fire,

I told him those a long time ago.

Trying to keep me safe or not,

It was inexcusable.

Hank won't let me die,

So fighting is my only option.

I'll fight,

Even if there is nothing to fight for,

Life isn't enough,

Love isn't enough,

I'm enough.

I'll fight for me,

No matter who I hurt in the process.

--------------------------------------------

_Thunder roars, the angel survives,  
  
wings in tatters on the floor,  
  
thunder roars, the sun begins to rise  
  
showing the world that there is more._

--------------------------------------------  
  
_**-Hank, Remy, Charles, Logan, John (each do one line as a cycled, collective though)-**_

This morning,

Very early,

I watched her leave.

She climbed out of the window and ran.

Disappeared into the rising sun,

Didn't look back.

Even after all this time,

I think we've lost her,

Despite all the friendships,

The love,

The trust,

The long nights playing cards by the fire,

She's gone,

Taken her flight on angel wings,

Left us all here alone.

With her went the hope,

With her went the dreams,

With her went the smiles,

With her went the screams.

The world has finally swallowed her,

Made her come undone,

That's why I watched her run away,

Towards the rising sun.

------------------------------------

That's the end, but don't cry. You haven't heard the last of me! I'm working on a new story as you read! Lol, oh yeah for the last part, if you can't figure out who is who, just follow the names at the start, i.e. Hank speaks the first line, Remy the second, and so on, till John the fifth line and then back to Hank. Make more sense? I hope so. Tell me what you thought of this fic, please. Give me feed back, the next story will not be in this style it will be normal! oh yeah this is what Remy says in his little rant!

[1] Connard : Bastard

[2] Fil's De Le Putain : Son of a bitch

[3] Merde: as if you didn't know this word, Shit

[4] Baiseur de mere : Mother fucker

Ciao my CHickies, I will post again soonish!

Angyl-Devyl, A


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